The service held at Beaulieu Abbey Church “was just really gentle and quiet.” It was attended by parents and grandparents, some grieving recent losses and others from years ago.
Revd Catherine Cowie organised the first baby loss service at the church after her own heartbreaking experiences. A friend from college lost her baby just three days after she was born. Catherine had conducted a baptism for the newborn via video link during Covid. Attending a baby loss service last year at Winchester Cathedral, encouraged her to bring a similar service to the parish.
Revd Catherine said, “It was a chance to come together, to be together, to give to God that pain and that grief, whether it was a recent or historical loss. The service enabled them to really feel the emotion and give it to God and to be together with people who can understand.”
Candles were lit around the church and reflective music played on the piano. The service included a bible reading and moving poetry such as ‘Little Snowdrops’. Revd Catherine had been given the names of 12 babies to read out and remember at the service.
“The day I announced the service in church, I was given four names by the end of the morning. Some of those memories were from people in their late 80s from experiences when they were in their 20s and some people whose experiences were very recent.
“I didn’t give an address as such, but I just mentioned that sometimes there are no words. All we can do is come together, be together, be a support for one another and to be there on behalf of those who didn’t feel they could come but wanted us to pray for their loved one and light a candle in their memory.
“I lit four candles, one representing our grief, pain and loss, one representing courage, strength and bravery, one representing love, support, family and friends, and the fourth representing our babies, children and pregnancies and the special place they’ve always held in our hearts.”
The congregation were then invited to come and light a candle and place it on the altar while music played. “People who sat next to each other started to chat about their experiences, so it was really gentle, lots of candles, dim light, beautiful music, and words of poetry and support. Some found it very emotional and a sacred ground to release what they were feeling. It was an opportunity to gather and be surrounded in support and held by God for a moment.”
Revd Catherine has received positive messages from people since the service who were grateful for the opportunity to remember. She’s planning to hold the service again next year.
“It’s trying to break that discomfort of not knowing what to say because what I’m hearing is that when people lose pregnancies and babies, having the opportunity to say their name, to light a candle, to sit next to somebody who can empathise is really special and important and fundamental for one’s well-being and opportunity for healing.”
I am an RAF veteran who served for 20 years between 1972 and 1991. I was a helicopter pilot and flew 6 consecutive tours of duty in the UK, Northern Ireland, Hong Kong and Cyprus. I flew Search and Rescue missions around the UK and The Republic of Ireland in RAF Sea King helicopters and the highlight of my flying career was command of 84 Squadron at RAF Akrotiri in Cyprus. I am currently the Chairman of the 84 Squadron Association an active group of ex-84 Squadron veterans and others with a connection to the Squadron. The Squadron was formed in 1917 at East Boldre, a few miles from your Abbey and it may be for that reason that 2 of the Monarch's Standards presented to the Squadron are laid up in your Abbey including the one the Squadron had in my time as Officer Commanding.
The older of the two Standards in your care was presented to the Squadron on 5th January 1956 by ACM Sir Francis Fogerty, who had himself joined the Squadron in 1922 and was its OC in 1935 at RAF Shaibah in modern day Iraq. The second Standard was presented to the Squadron on 23 October 1980 by ACM Sir Keith Williamson, AOC Strike Command, at RAF Akrotiri. This is the one I remember from my time as OC and I recall attended its laying up Service at the Abbey on Sunday 27th July 2003. The third Standard, which was paraded recently at RAF Akrotiri for the retirement of the Squadron’s Puma helicopters, was presented in November 2001, 84 Squadron’s 84th year in operation.
VOLUNTEERS INVITED to assist with our efforts to make Beaulieu Abbey Church more accessible to Visitors who come from all over the World to visit Beaulieu, Palace House and the National Motor Museum. We are looking for people who can be in the Abbey between 1pm and 3pm to welcome guests to our historic Church. We have an established team in place but we need additional help to achieve our ambition.
For many years, our parishes (Beaulieu, Exbury, East Boldre) have been linked together into one Benefice, led by a Rector. Recent years have seen a decline in the numbers attending the parish churches of Exbury and East Boldre. After consultation within the Benefice, it has been decided to create a single parish, named Beaulieu, Exbury and East Boldre. This organisational move is planned to come into effect on 1 January 2025. For most parishioners, this change will make little if any difference to their patterns of worship. However, there are a number of significant changes, and some are listed here:
Instead of three PCCs, there will be just one; and instead of six Church Wardens, there will be just two.
Lay members of the PCC and the two Church Wardens will be elected at a Special Annual Parochial General Meeting (SPAGM) towards the end of January ‘25.
Committees throughout the existing Benefice will cease to operate on 31 December ‘24, and ‘Single Parish’ committees will be reconvened as soon as practicable after the SAPGM.
There will be only one Parish Church, which will be Beaulieu Abbey Church. Both St Katharine’s Exbury, and St Paul's East Boldre will become ‘Chapels of Ease’. All three churches, plus the Chapel in Bucklers Hard will continue to hold services, at times determined by the Rector, after discussions with wardens and parishioners.
Q: What do the different colours of vestments, altars and other hangings in a church mean?
A: These are known as liturgical colours and you will see them change throughout the year.
White symbolises celebration. It is used for joyful occasions like Christmas and Easter, when gold can also be used. White is also used for special events like baptisms, weddings and confirmations.
Red represents the Holy Spirit (the Fire of Pentecost) and martyrdom (blood), so you will see it used at Pentecost, on the feast days of martyred saints and as we recall Jesus’ suffering and death in Holy Week.
Purple represents repentance and preparation, which is why you see it during Advent and Lent. Purple is often also worn at funerals.
Green symbolises growth and hope. It is the colour for Ordinary Time – the period between Epiphany and Lent and between Easter and Advent.
The Gospel speaks of welcome for all. Being faithful to this compels us to take with the utmost seriousness the challenge of preventing abuse from happening and responding well where it has.
For information, guidance & resources, please visit www.churchofengland.org/safeguarding. Further information is displayed on the notice boards in the Church porch.
